TO MY DOG[S]

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

I love thee agreeably - enough to let your stinky doghide on the bed after a run through damp leaves, mud and slug infested gardens.

I love thee steadfastly - enough to devote a year to raising you from a wobbly speck into astrong healthy adult (who promptly attempts to seize control).

I love thee passionately - despite your repeated efforts to probe my ears, eyes and mouth with the same tongue you use for various other atrocities.

I love thee well - despite the amazing odors you produce.

I love thee deeply - though you use me as a napkin at every opportunity.

I love thee madly - despite the various bodily functions you have performed at inappropriate moments - in inappropriate places.

I love thee constantly - despite the dog "bladder curfew" I have lived by for many years.

I love thee truly - despite the "doggie landmines" hidden in the grass.

I love thee absolutely - because you never (well hardly ever) hog the remote control.

I love thee gratefully - because you stay by my side (or on my side).

I love thee devotedly - more than clean carpeting, clothing, furniture, floors or walls.

I love thee bravely - enough to battle the indomitable flea on your behalf.

I love thee monetarily - enough to put the vet's children through college.

I love thee openly - I will bear any embarrassment for your furry sake.

I love thee totally - more than free time or excess cash or a predictable life.