A TALE OF TWO DOGS

Once upon a time there were two dogs. One was a senior dog and one was a

puppy. The older dog needed a new home because his master went to a
nursing home and he had no family to care for him. The puppy came from a
"puppy mill." Their lives were the same in many ways but caring and
living with them were quite different at times. One had a long history,
the other had none.

I adopted the senior guy – Dakota. My friend bought her dog from a pet
store. We both met at obedience school years ago. We both lost our dogs
suddenly and the trauma was more than we could handle. As a senior
myself, I could not even think of looking for a puppy. Training and all
that goes with it was beyond my capabilities now. My friend was younger
and felt that she could still manage bringing a puppy into her life.

I've already told the story of adopting Dakota. But I haven't said much
about what followed. He was ten years old. I had no knowledge of his
previous life. I started with a blank canvas while Dakota came with his
history. I only knew that he had separation anxiety and storm fear – two
rather debilitating problems. While I had written about them in my
columns and talked about them in my classes, I never had a dog with
either problem let alone both.

I had to quickly figure out how I was going to handle these problems
while making a safe, comfortable, happy, and secure home for him. I
decided my first task was to do nothing. Being a senior and having
worked from home, I could spend all of my time with him. I started with
observing him – 24/7. It was fall, so it was still warm and he could be
outside comfortably. Dakota and I got up early each morning. I let him
out and followed him to the deck where I had my first cup of coffee and
watched him around the yard. He listened to each car that went by. Now
and then one caught his attention. I brought him in and gave him
breakfast. Together we'd go to the front porch and get the paper. It was
part of establishing a very simple routine to help him feel secure. For
a couple of months I stayed home. My husband did all of the grocery
shopping and errands. Dakota came up to my office with me.

I decided it was necessary to work with the separation anxiety first
before I could work with the storm fear. Time was the answer. Dakota
needed to trust me and learn that I would always be there for him. He
needed to learn that even if I went away, I would come back. It took
time but it worked. Slowly and gently I became the Alpha Dog. With
Dakota I learned it was not the same as with my past puppies. He was a
senior and I had no idea how his life had been established as a puppy.
He was so gentle and so sweet, I felt I should give him the benefit of
the doubt and carefully slip this information into his head.

Years ago I learned that the best way to establish a relationship with a
dog is to talk, talk, talk. The more you talk, the more they listen. Not
only that, they learn to listen and interpret the meaning of your talk.
They quickly learn to be part of the pack [that's the family.] It also
establishes thinking. A dog left in the corner and never fully brought
into the family, will not do much thinking. But one that is involved
will read your every move and every sentence. They will know what you're
going to do before you do it. I have many stories and experiences to
document that.

So Dakota and I established our relationship. I soon learned there was
one hitch in my plan. He was very adept at reading my mind – all of the
time. He knew what I was thinking even when I was on my computer writing
about him. If I was worrying, he was worrying because I was worrying. If
I even thought that I should let him out, he was down the stairs and at
the door before I said something. When I went out into the hall, he knew
where I was going and got there before I did. I had to be careful. This
put a lot of pressure on me that I couldn't convey to him. But as time
went on, his trust in me grew. Then one day I decided to leave him with
my husband and drive around the block. That went well. We started
leaving the house together and going out in the yard where he couldn't
see us. That also went well. All of this we did matter-of-factly.
Finally the day came when Dakota and I had a talk and I let him know
that we'd be leaving the next morning to shop. I told him again in the
morning as we were going through our routine. I took several of his
favorite bones and filled them with his treats. We left with him trying
to get his treats out of the bone and ignoring our exit. I planned to be
gone only about an hour but it extended beyond that – way beyond that. I
hoped the house would be in one piece when we got back. He greeted us at
the door, turned and went to get his bone that he hadn't finished. Success!

The puppy came home with my friend. She was starting from the beginning.
We had several long talks before she bought her puppy about getting
another dog too soon or waiting. She was a person that couldn't wait for
a number of decent reasons. She found it difficult not to compare.
That's the biggest problem new owners have. It's not fair to the owner
and it's not fair to the new puppy.

My friend started off on a rocky road. She had one problem after
another. First of all she is a disciplinarian from the get go. Secondly,
she approaches training with inflexible zeal and fervor. She wants her
puppy to learn immediately and there really is no room for error.
Although she knows her way around obedience, she steps outside on
certain issues that I heartily disagree with and voice my opinion
loudly. She has her methods of house training etc. She's had many dogs
through the years and different breeds. She started with puppy just as
she always has in the past. But as time went on she realized all was not
going as it had in the past. This puppy challenged her every move. Her
home has gradually become a war zone. Puppy is not mean or viscous. She
just goes in the opposite direction with every command. From day one she
read this woman like a book. She is smart as a whip. She is also a
hyperactive puppy. She needs to be in her kennel to rest and calm down.

The other interesting point is that when puppy goes to the vet or to
obedience school she's a little darling. She does everything correctly
and behaves like a well obedient pup. One thing has led to another and
my friend began to wonder where this pup's origin came from. From day
one I sensed this woman had purchased a puppy-mill animal. She didn't
think so at first but as time went on and puppy became more and more of
a problem, she started investigating her background. The more she looked
into things the more she too started to feel that puppy came from one of
those puppy mills.

The point I want to make here is that this puppy and her siblings never
had time with their mother or with each other.

A pack animal becomes a full fledged member of the group by a process
called subordination. With dogs, subordination begins shortly after the
third week of life and continues throughout early development. Most
normal, healthy puppies are basically pushy animals, and will try to
advance as far as possible within the social order of the pack. The key
to successfully rearing a puppy is to establish yourself as the pack
leader and then maintain that position for the life of your dog.

The key to successfully rearing a puppy is to establish yourself as the
pack leader and then maintain that position for the life of your dog.

In the wild, the adults of the pack begin early to teach the cubs the
rules. The adults grab pups around the head or neck and gently, but
firmly, pin them to the ground. The cubs learn to greet the adults with
respect by approaching them using a slightly crouching posture, with
ears back, tail down and wagging, and they lick the adults' muzzles. The
cubs do this as a sign of respect and affection, not out of fear. It is
called the subordination display, and its function is to keep peace and
harmony within the pack.

Puppy was taken from her mother and other siblings and never given the
chance to learn the basics. I believe this had caused my friend the
problems she is facing now. Puppy is so lucky to be in my friends home.
She is trying to hard to establish a relationship with this dog. She has
done everything right. Puppy went to puppy class, is currently in
obedience, and my friend even sought advice from a fully qualified dog
psychologist. She has the patience of Job and she works at not loosing
her temper. It is unbelievable what this puppy is capable of doing. She
continues to test my friend every step of the way. I admire my friend
for her positive approach. Puppy is learning all sorts of things to
challenge her, keep her active, and finding outlets for her to learn as
she grows. She is a remarkably intelligent puppy – too much for her own
good. My friend is able to keep her sense of humor through all of this.
Most people would have returned the dog or put it down, but my friend
finds the good in puppy and hopes that she will eventually mature enough
to be part of the household.

So, our two dogs came with a blank canvas. Neither of us knew their
backgrounds or their breeding. One is a senior, one a puppy. We both
have had our challenges. These two dogs are lucky to find their way to
homes that are willing to work with them on their terms, give them a
gigantic supply of love, and provide an atmosphere for them to live in
secure, warm, and happy surroundings. Our routines and methods of
dealing with daily activities are based on learning, in site, and years
of dog experience. But mainly it's our love and devotion to these
animals. They didn't ask to be taken out of their normal environment,
they weren't given a choice of where to live and how to live. They
adapted to whatever their circumstance were the best they could. It is
our responsibility as humans to give back to them by adapting to them in
a way that helps them adjust and by providing them with a loving, caring
home to live out their lives and to be happy and share with us a
wonderful relationship.

I have no idea how many homes Dakota has had through the years but he
has adjusted well. I'm sure there were moments when he was scared and
wondered what was happening but he survived and I've tried to make his
life as happy and comfortable as possible. He gives me so much on a
daily basis and I hope my hugs, massages, and care are making him feel
secure in his senior years. I want him to have happy memories.

Puppy never had a normal start to her life. I know she's in a good home
with loving parents that are willing to understand her and help her make
up for the lack of foundation learning. She is a dog that should have a
chance and given every opportunity to have a long life.

More coming.